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When ‘The Other’ Is Our Brother (and Sister) by Rev. John R. Kleinheksel Sr. 3 June 2007 Eph. 2:11-22 and Luke 10:25-37 © 2007 John R. Kleinheksel Sr.

One day, a mother found a six pack of beer in her daughter’s closet. When her daughter came home, she asked her daughter, “What is this?” The daughter responded, “It looks like a six-pack of beer.” The mother responded, “Don’t get smart with me, young lady. You tell me about this.” The daughter thought for a moment and then said she was hiding it for a friend. The mother said she didn’t believe her. The girl ran off to her bedroom and slammed the door.

How can we reach through to each other in families, instead of repel each other? How can we connect with co-workers in the company or fellow members of the congregation, instead of distrust and push them away? And how can countries, races, religions and cultures connect, such as in the Middle East, the focus of our worship today?

Here is a paraphrase of a Henri Nouwen parable in his book, Lifesigns (Doubleday, 1986, pp. 110, 111). Once there was a people who looked at the world’s resources and said to each other, “How will we have enough if a crisis comes?”

So they started hoarding food, energy, food and knowledge.

Other people protested, “You have more than you need and we have nothing. Share with us”.

The fearful hoarders replied, “No, no, we need to have these reserves in case things go bad and our lives are threatened.”

But the others said, “We are dying now. We can’t wait any longer. There is nothing for us.”

Then the fearful hoarders became even more afraid of attack. So they said, “Let’s build walls so ‘other’s’ can’t take from us.”

The walls became so high they couldn’t see the ‘others’ anymore and their fears increased.

“Our enemies may get stronger and tear down our walls. We need guided missiles so that ‘they’ won’t dare even come close to us.”

But instead of feeling safer and more secure, they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear.

As world political and business leaders meet, there is the gnawing worry that no one is really in charge; that we are all pawns. Forces beyond our control sweep us along and there is nothing we can do.

Multilateral actions seem called for at a time when authority is leaking away from Western powers that have traditionally led the multilateral systems. The “nation state”, once so mighty a sovereign, is now only one among many forces that make the world multi-polar.

The problem seems to be a “Shifting power equation”. State-based institutions like the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund and the World Trade Organization don’t seem able to address corruption or remove crippling debt and trade barriers.

Meanwhile, we in the Western countries are in bondage to debt ourselves, enslaved by the values of consumerism and protectionism. The US has only 4.5% of the world’s population yet consumes 40% of the world’s resources. The West’s great superhighways carry us over and around and away from the sights, smells and sounds of the poor and oppressed.

Even now, we extol the virtues of wealth and power when most of the world is poor and powerless. Jesus word to the rich young ruler may be the word we need to put into practice: Sell all you have, give to the poor and come follow me into a new community that is making a difference among the poor (Jim Wallis, The Call to Conversion, chap. 3, rev. 2005).

It’s possible to be suspicious of “The Other” person, their beliefs, their history, their practices. How well can we enter into each others’ live, without being intrusive (on the one hand), or aloof and disrespectful (on the other hand)?

Words can wound or soothe. Words can harm or heal. We need to reach beyond the old prejudices and break new ground.

How radically counter-cultural was Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan! In it, he casts the hated, heretical Samaritan as the hero of the story. Well-placed insiders thought they had good reason to by-pass the bruised and broken traveler. The Samaritan, traveling the same road, saw the man’s plight, and his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds, put him on his donkey and led him to an inn, paying for his expenses in advance.

In this encounter, a religion scholar wanted to see how far Jesus was willing to go in defining “the neighbor”, “The Other”. Remember, the man had accurately defined God’s law: love for God and neighbor (10:25-27). In his response, Jesus in effect says, “It’s not how you limit the definition of “neighbor”, it’s to whom are you and I willing to be a neighbor?!!”

Is the love there? Do we care when someone is hurting? That is the Question! It not how little we have to do in reaching a neighbor, it’s how far out are we willing to go, to be “neighbor”?

A genuine peace building effort in the Middle East will require us to identify and address root causes of conflict there. It will require reforming the injustices that continue to plague the nations there. When we invest in supposed military solutions without an equal emphasis on reducing disease, displacement, poverty and human rights abuses, we will only compound and aggravate the situation. (There will be seven prayers for Christians in seven Middle Eastern countries later in the worship service.)

When fear rules, races are at war; when fear rules, religions become more isolated from each other; when fear rules, rich and poor nations become more disconnected. When North is pitted against South, and East against West, walls are built and violence breaks out and we become “homo homini lupus”, wolves, who ravage, kill and destroy the other sheep in God’s sheepfold.

We need to transcend the “us and them” dichotomy. We have to see “the Other” as a brother or sister. When love rules, fear is driven out. When love rules we find ways of connecting with “the Other”.

Paul, in his Ephesian correspondence, claims that when the Church is truly the church, Gentile outsiders and Jewish insiders find common community. Now, because of Christ, dying that death and shedding that blood, we who were once “the Other”, “The Enemy”, are now in on everything. Jesus tore down the walls we use to keep each other at a distance. Christ preached peace to both outsiders and insiders, the cultured and barbarians, men and women, old and young, rich and poor. Now, everyone and anyone can belong. No more wandering refugees, strangers and outsiders. We BELONG here. God is building a home, a holy temple; and he’s using us (2:11-22).

In this congregation too, steps are being taken to give everyone a place at the table, to give each constituency an opportunity for participation and leadership. We need to find ways of sharing control of resources and authority with fellow believers and sharing our accumulated wealth with the poor. That is what it means to be the Church.

Tom Arendshorst, a peace-minded friend, tells the Cherokee story about an old man who sat with his grandson by the fire one evening. He told the boy about a battle that goes on inside of the hearts of all people. “My son”, he said, “Two wolves battle for all people’s hearts. One is arrogance, pride, fear, jealousy, greed and the desire to be number One, which leads to violence and destruction. The other wolf is love, joy, generosity, neighborliness, humility, kindness and the compassion that leads to community and construction.”

The grandson thought for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee answered. “The one you feed”.

How well do we handle people who are different? Who are in the wrong? Who is “The Other”, outside our circle of concern?

Recently, a Christian, a Sunni Muslim and two Kurds were kidnapped in NW Iraq at gunpoint. When the guard asked each their religion, the Christian simply said, “Yes”.

But she became bold, “You are holding us here and would do us harm,” she said. “I am a Christian and so I will forgive you.”

Taken aback, the guard protested, “No, we will not harm you. You are like my mother.”

After they were released, the Christian realized her anger had helped her combat a feeling of fear and helplessness. When she honestly spoke the truth, it interrupted the guard’s threatening questions and was an important part in her search for healing.

After their release, the woman was reflecting on the experience.

Since then, I have been walking on a path toward healing, which I believe includes forgiveness of all involved in the kidnapping.  I want to be free of the burdens of resentment toward those who took us captive and threatened to harm us, yet allow room for a healthy anger toward injustice and abuse. Now, recognizing and facing these feelings of anger keeps me honest and real about my need for healing and God's grace. Friends, this is wholesome. This is honest.

After the woman’s daughter ran off to her bedroom and slammed the door, the mother sought advice from a trusted friend. The friend said to her, “Why were you so concerned with finding the beer in her closet?” The mother replied, “Because I don’t want her to get into trouble.” The friend said, “I understand that, but why is it you don’t want her to get into trouble?”

The mother responded, “Well, because I don’t want her to ruin her life.” Her friend said, that she understood that, “but why don’t you want her to ruin her life?” Finally the mother got the point and replied, “Because I love her.” The friend then said, “Do you think she got that message?” The mother thought for a moment and said, “Of course not.”

Then the friend said to her, “What do you think would happen if you started with that message? If you had told her that you love her very much and were scared when you found the beer hidden in her room and could we talk about this?”

With this approach, you begin by being vulnerable instead of conducting an inquisition that inevitably leads to denial. Starting from the position of love, provides the focus so that the child can then open up and work together with you on some kind of solution. Begin with the end in mind, and that end is love for God and others, especially the “Other”.

When we care about the Other, the Enemy, walls start breaking down, and getting to know those who are different is enriching instead of divisive. We start celebrating the oneness we have in God, the impact we are making and the joy we sense welling up to overflowing in and through us.

Let’s be clear about the goal. Let’s be clear about the process. The “Other” is our brother. . .and sister. It depends on which wolf we feed. Amen.