I was told that at the coffee hour last Sunday a number of you were
discussing my sermon which I had titled, “Don’t Be
So Critical.” Some of you indicated that you were planning to
go on that “One-day fast from criticism.” I wonder
how that worked out for you. Did you find it easier than you expected?
--or harder than you expected? One of you told me that you were doing
fine, until you got into heavy traffic on Monday morning.
What I didn’t talk about last week is self-criticism.
I’ve been a pastor for many years and have known people who
don’t necessarily judge others, but who are really hard on
themselves. Their self-talk goes like this: “I'm a very
selfish person.” “I always screw up.”
“I’m so ugly.” “How can anybody
like me?” When they get criticized they simply agree, and
sink deeper into their hole of self-hatred. How tragic. How very sad!
When Jesus Christ commands us to “Judge Not!,”
that
includes judging yourself. It's called self-condemnation. You're not
allowed to say the last word about your neighbor, and you’re
not allowed to say the last word about yourself. “Judge
not,” also applies to you.
Let’s make sure we understand: judging yourself is different
from examining yourself. We are to examine ourselves, so that we can
take the log out of our own eye. But that does not mean that we are to
attack ourselves, that we are to dig into ourselves. That’s
not helpful. We seek conviction from the Holy Spirit, not condemnation
from the devil. Godly sorrow is good, but not feelings of
worthlessness, --not obsessive thoughts about our sin. We must always
remember that God loves us, --in spite of our deficiencies.
Our Lord has provided something pastorally here that is very
significant. He is dealing with the basic cause of depression. He wants
you to stop those searing self-judgments that bury you in your own pit.
Don't try to sum up your life in a negative way. Only God can give the
correct evaluation on your life. That means that you have the wonderful
freedom to be a person. Not to be God, but a man or a woman -- with
imperfections, to be sure -- but nevertheless to be a person,
--forgiven, loved, called to be a follower of Jesus. There is great
freedom and great joy in that.
So we begin by looking at the summary words of the Sermon on the Mount,
“Judge
not! But as we look at our Scripture lesson, we find
that Jesus adds another piece of excellent advice. Here are
Jesus’ next words: In effect he says to us,
“Don’t
push!” When you are trying to get
people to change their behavior, or when you are trying to persuade
them to adopt your point of view, don’t be pushy.
That’s what Jesus is talking about when he says, Do not give
dogs what is holy and do not throw your pearls before swine, less they
trample them under foot and turn to attack you. (Matt 7:6)
What does Jesus mean by “holy”?
He is referring to
something that is an exression of the divine, --like your faith, --your
experience of God, --the holy Scripture. What is the
“pearl”
which Jesus mentions? It is the wisdom that
you offer to someone else. Jesus is saying that when someone is
scornful of our “holy”
things like our faith; or
when someone is scornful of our “pearls”
of wisdom,
we shouldn’t push them on that person.
It’s like putting your Bible in the dog’s dish. He
will sniff the Bible and turn away. It’s not edible. The same
goes for pigs. If you scatter pearls before them, they will not be
impressed. The highest priced gems have no appeal because pearls are
not digestible. Pigs will simply trample them underfoot, --and if they
are really hungry they will turn to attack you, because you, at least,
are edible.
Jesus is saying that our words need to relate to a person’s
passions, or interests, or desires. If we keep pushing where there is
no interest, the person will simply turn aside or trash us.
It’s not that he is a dog or a pig. He simply has no interest
in our message, and doesn't want to be harangued.
How many of our kids, -- or our husbands, -- or our wives have reacted
because we tried to force the Bible on them? In my case, it
wasn’t the Bible, it was Greek philosophers. My father, whom
I dearly loved and greatly respected, was very proud of our Greek
heritage, and every evening at supper I got a daily dose of pearls from
Aristotle, Plato, and Socrates. I remember how proudly he would speak
their names in Greek -- Aristotlie! Socrates! Did I react? Yes. Instead
of embracing the Greek philosophers, I embraced the Christian Bible,
--and became a Protestant. When people are not interested in hearing
your message, Jesus’ advice is this,
“Don’t
push!," --because you will only push them
away!
So how do we help people who don’t seem to be open to the
good things we have for them? We learn to get along with them by
requesting…. By asking.… Jesus says, Ask and it
will be given you, seek and you will find, knock and it will be opened
to you; for everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to
him who knocks it will be opened.
We usually understand this verse to refer to prayer, but it can also
refer to the way in which we interact with people We can politely ask
people to do things, or to consider our point of view. Why is this
strategy effective? Because a request puts the other person, rather
than you, in control. He or she can say “Yes!” or
“No!” to a request.
And yet, the person who asks also retains power. People come to this
church all week long and they ask for help. And there is great power in
their asking.
A few weeks ago I preached on the Good Samaritan, and I don’t
know if that sermon affected anyone else, but it affected me. I was
deeply impressed with the need to be more available, more helpful, more
willing to serve others. During these past four weeks individuals and
families have been coming and telling me and the other pastors that
they need a place to sleep, they need food, they need a job. Sometimes
they ask with pain on their faces. Some are very assertive; others are
humble and grateful for whatever they get. People ask, seek, knock, and
we, as a church, do the best we can to accommodate those requests.
Isn’t that the way it was with our Lord? All kinds of people
came to him because he met their needs, he responded to pleas, he
helped them regardless of whether they deserved it or not. And so
people come to us.
When I tire of this and try to put these men and women out of my
thoughts, the warnings of the Bible jump to the front of my mind,
especially James 2:15: “Suppose a brother or sister is
without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him,
“Go,
I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but
does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?”
Ten days ago a man brought his wife and daughter and as they sat
telling me their story, he likened himself to Joseph and he likened his
wife to Mary, and he likened his child to Jesus. The holy family, he
reminded me, had to settle for a cave since there was no room for them
in the inn. This man was very clever in knowing how to touch my heart
as he asked for help.
Even animals have great power in asking. Have you noticed how hard it
is to enjoy your steak dinner when your dog puts his chin on your leg
and with tilted head looks up at you with eager expectation for a piece
of that steak? I tell you, there is power in asking.
We, ourselves, exercise the greatest power of all when we make our
requests to God. Please notice the unconditional character of Jesus
words: Ask
and it will be given you, seek and you will find, knock and
it will be opened to you; for everyone who asks receives, and he who
seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Six
times in six
different ways Jesus invites us to ask God for what we need.
This passage is among the most encouraging in the Bible on the subject
of prayer. It promises unconditionally that simple asking receives,
simply seeking, finds,
simply knocking, opens.
And yet, even with this kind of encouragement, we are strangely
hesitant to go to our heavenly Father and to ask him for what we need.
We can talk for hours to our friends about our concerns, but we often
neglect prayer. Jesus knows this and so he throws the doors of faith
wide open. Jesus wants us to know that the Father is extremely
generous, and he emphasizes that in the next verse.
Or what man of you if his son asks him for bread will give him a stone,
or if he asks for a fish will give him a serpent? If you then who are
evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more
will
your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him?
Even a father who is far from perfect wants to see his child in good
health, with good friends, having good experiences. Surely our heavenly
Father desires this for us -- and
how much more! Jesus obviously wants
to lift our wavering, unbelieving spirits. He wants us to benefit from
the incomparable generosity of our heavenly Father.
How do we make the connection with this extremely generous God? What is
required of us? Notice, we do not have to be perfect. Nothing is said
here of worthiness. The only condition Jesus sets forth is that we ask!
“But,” some of you will say, “I have
asked and asked AND ASKED! And he hasn’t answered my prayer!
Why?” That’s a tough question. And I
can’t answer it adequately or fully. Let me say that
sometimes (1) the request that we make of God depends upon the will of
another person, and God will not violate that person’s
freedom of choice. Sometimes (2) the timing is wrong, and the good
things that God wants to give us are yet to come. Sometimes (3) we ask
for things that are not in our best interest, and it is God’s
desire to give us good things.
Sometimes (4) God makes us wait to
develop perseverance in us. There are many reasons that could be given.
And yet the encouragement of this passage is that we pray.
Our faith needs continuous encouragement, doesn’t it? Let me
tell you about a scientific study on prayer that has been a great
encouragement to me. It was done at the University of San Francisco
Medical School by cardiologist Randolph Byrd. It was published in 1988
in the Southern Medical Journal, and is viewed by those who evaluate
claims of faith healing as a highly credible study.
This study took place in a coronary unit at the San Francisco Hospital.
A computer randomly selected 192 patients who became the recipients of
prayers. Another 201 patients were not so assigned. Neither the
patients, nurses, doctors, nor families of the patients knew who was in
which group. Roman Catholic and Protestant groups from around the
country were recruited to pray for the members of the “prayer
recipient” group.
The people in the home prayer groups were given the names of the
patients, and a few details about their medical condition. Each patient
in the Prayer-recipient group had between five and seven people across
the country praying for him or her, --every day, --for ten-months, but
the patient did not know that he or she was receiving prayer.
The results were stunning. Let me mention four. The prayer recipients
were (1) five times less likely than the other group to require
antibiotics. The prayer recipients were (2) three times less likely to
develop complications. None of the prayed-for group (3) required a
life-support system, and (4) fewer died. Is that impressive, or what?
Does prayer help or is all of this merely coincidental?
Six different times in six different ways Jesus invites us to pray, and
promises that -- let me repeat it one more time -- simple asking,
receives; seeking, finds;
knocking, opens!
Jesus goes on in the final words of this passage to give us the
“Golden Rule.”
So, whatever you wish that men would
do to you, do so to them, for this is the law and the prophets.
The “so,”
is really a
“therefore.”
And the therefore refers to what has
just been taught, it refers back to the three ways we are to treat
other people: Don’t
judge! Don’t push! Instead,
Ask!
I would like for you to take a moment to consider: How would you like
to be treated? I don’t think you want to be judged,
criticized, condemned, blamed. Nor would you want to be pushed,
argued
with and confronted. Anyone of us would much rather be asked
politely,
asked
humbly. That’s how anyone of us would like to be
treated. If that is the case, then Jesus says, therefore,
whatever you
wish that men would do to you, do so to them.
When it comes to personal relations this text tells us that you
don’t really need to go to a counselor, or even to your
pastor. All you need to do is to consult with your own feelings. Ask
yourself, how would you like to be treated in this or that situation?
Answer that question, and you will know what to do. So in personal
relations, remember this rule: don’t judge,
don’t
push, rather ask and, especially, ask God to meet your
needs.
Will you do it? Will you practice it? Jesus wants us to enhance our
interactions with one another. If we take the teachings of Jesus to
heart, they will significantly improve our marriages, our relationship
with our children, our relationship with our fellow-workers, and our
friends. May God help us to be wise enough to follow his advice:
Don’t be so Critical! Don’t Be So Pushy! Instead
ask politely, humbly. That’s the way you’d like to
be treated; so, treat others the same way! Amen.
